20 November 2007

More like myself

I still feel like I am starting to recognize myself again. My face is less puffy as the Prednisolon dose is tapered down. The water weight has dropped too, so the shape of my body feels more familiar to me. My legs look more like the legs of a runner again, although they are still thinner than they use to be. But that is because I am still a bit thinner all over.

Most days I head out to the park for a jog or a wog. My legs want to run like I used to run, but I watch my heart rate (HR) very carefully since I am still on cortisone and I don’t want to overdo it. I based my training on HR before too, so the principle of alternating hard and easy days based on my HR is the same, just that my pace is slower now. I have days when I can barely break into a jog before I have to take a walking break to bring down my HR, and then there are other days when I can slow jog 5-6 miles without a problem. And whenever I trot down the road to the park I feel grateful, because in my tights and my running shoes and my new cute red jacket I feel like the person I was before the diagnosis and the hospital visit. I don’t feel like a sick person, I feel like *me*.

Of course I sometimes worry about how much time I have until the next flare-up. Will it be three months or until the summer? Or do I have a year or even more? But there is no point in trying to plan for what I cannot predict. I’ll cross that river when I get to it.

3 comments:

Tanya said...

I was in a sports store on the weekend and saw a cute red running jacket - it made me think of you :)

Elizabeth Halt said...

I'm glad you're feeling more like yourself again. And I like the sound of the cute red running jacket. :love:

Jenny said...

I love the jacket! It is bright red and soft and quite warm, but it has all these clever little zippers you can open to get more ventilation, so it works even when it is above freezing.